Deeply connected with intuition and wisdom

If you asked me a year ago if I would be where I'm at today I'd probably laugh about it. I'm not just talking about where I am in the physical world, but how I feel, and what I'm working toward. My brother introduced me to this guy Dallas Clayton that does kids books... One of my favorite pieces by him says, "I'm excited to see where this is all going"

Sold in a floating glass frame, $65 plus $10 shipping and handling

If I know better... I don't know better

The evolution of my artwork has been an interesting one, and is still (and always will be) in flux. I'm not gonna lie about it, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Some days I walk into the studio with one idea, and leave having completely forgotten about my original plan. Other days I'll just sit and stare at my cutting mat and think how I'm being a complete chicken head and should give up my hopes for a 9 to 5. I'm learning this is my fuel that keeps me there all day, and keeps me coming back.

With all that being said, heres a video of a piece of paper I cut today. Why tree bark? I have no idea. Like I said... I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. But I'm not gonna stop now.

"Sit still ho, I'm tryin to kiss you"

Alright, here is some serious truth:

Starting back at the bar made me realize how mentally, physically, and creatively taxing it is to do that kind of work for me. Please don't mistake that last sentence as me being ungrateful or bitter about being back behind a bar - I don't mind the work. But I never understood that I could find work that feels natural and leaves me with more energy until I was able to tap into my creative side a little bit more.

My foot hurts

Sometimes I wonder where I used to lose all of my time before I started making and creating. What I would do on my days off, or even why I felt validated in letting myself have a day off. It seems like now-a-days if my wheels aren't turning, then I better have a really good reason for it.

I woke up yesterday morning, and my foot was on fire. After a simple google search, the internet said it's either cancer, I broke my foot or I have a bunion. Or maybe I just bruised it. So fine, I figured that is a sign to take it easy at the gym this week. Rolling with those punches,  I drove over to the craft store because I needed more blades... I bought the place out of their blades last week, and they don't get a shipment in until Friday. Fine. I went home, got online, and tried to buy the blades that I use in bulk. The website says they are out of stock.

Shit. Sometimes life forces us to calm down. I figured that was a sign that I needed to sit still yesterday... rest my foot, rest my hands and take a day off... Which is the hardest thing to do now that I have a real career goal. Even taking the 30 minutes it takes to type this blog post I have to mentally force myself to not get up and say this is a waste of time.

I'm not gonna spend the next four days waiting for that store to re-up on the things I need. I guess I just have to make do with what I've got. Maybe I need to do something else, or learn something new that doesn't require the tools I don't have right now.

So, even though I promised myself I would take the day off yesterday, I still went into the studio and spent a few hours messing around with the dull blade I had. I figured I might as well make another flower. Maybe I'll put a bouquet of them together if I continue to cut them out. That might be neat looking. So anyway, heres a picture of me with the thing I cut yesterday.

Why a picture of me AND the flower I cut, you ask? For a few reasons:

 1. Because girls always have to find an excuse to take a selfie.

 2. Because my blades are dull that flower kinda looks like shit up close. 

3. Cause I look adorable, duh. 

Hey look, my 41st blog post

If I could make a career out of the things I DONT want to do I would be well versed in it by now. Making 6 figures would be a walk in the park. It's a real learning curve to pick ONE thing to do and just roll with it. 

So, heres a flower thing. I think I might do a series of flower things. Because who doesnt like flowers things?'

Email me if youre interested in this little diddy. Or maybe just email me anyway.... I donno the last time I got just a regular ol' email.

"My hand hurts" (One Cut)

$55 plus $10 shipping, sold in a floating glass frame, and no duh my finger is totally not included.

"She helped me learn how to read, and I showed her how to swing" (One Cut)

These little boogers are getting harder to take pictures of.

$40 Sold in a floating glass frame (finger not included) and $5 shipping

  SOLD

Daria (A Commission)

Do you mind if I commiserate for a second?

Cool, thank you. 

The studio space I rent, I share with four other people. The rooms are divided by a partition with a shared bathroom in the middle. This means when Candy farts, I can smell it. When Chris plays the drums, I can hear it. When I scream Drake at the top of my lungs, everyone can hear it. We just got someone new to rent out the largest space and I think he's living there. I also think he smokes cigarettes inside, because everytime I walk in the place reeks of butts and stale booze-breath. You know what I'm talking about...when your friend gets too drunk and falls asleep with their mouth open- the whole rooms smells like hot booze breath. Needless to say, its been an exercise of patience to continue to bring myself to go and breathe this in until the work is done for the day. I've called the rental company three separate times about it, so I'm not sure what more I can do. The paper needs to be cut, though, so I bare through it. 

With all that being said, Thanks to Hannah for giving me the idea to make such a rad paper cut out. The cigarette smell was giving me a mental block I didn't think was possible. 

Man in the Mirror (One Cut)

I remember one of my first cassette tapes was Michael Jackson. I used to play and replay the scene out of Free Willy where one of his songs was featured. I would set my stuffed animals up in a row and make dances up to his music for my "audience". I remember the day he died I was living in New Zealand, and told my flat mate through the door of my bedroom... I had to go to work an hour later. I wouldn't say I was devastated, but it was definitely the end of an era for me.

$35 Sold framed plus $5 Shipping

I don't even know what "Living room-ready" means

My dad is a selling artist (his medium is paint), and has been less-than impressed with the idea of me kind of putting the paint brushes to the side and putting my cutting mat down instead. While he continues to support my decision and help me along with my process, he keeps encouraging me to make things that are "living room ready" or, as a fellow artist friend of mine put it, "nursery ready"

I understand the concept, and really had the intention of making this piece of art to be one of those things..... I wouldn't say its QUIIIITE nursery ready, but I'm gettin' there.

Unrelated add-in: Before today I had maybe 200 blog views in the 4 or 5 months of having it. In the last 30 minutes those numbers have tripled. I didn't know it was humanly possible to sweat so much by just sitting still, but its happening. All over this new couch I figured I needed.

$45 plus $5 S&H 

"I see through your scamoflauge"

Alright. The hardest part of making artwork is having to explain the idea and intention behind it. So I'm just gonna be really fucking honest here:

1. I love hip-hop. I love the way it sounds, I feel the beat of it in my stomach and its almost impossible to not move to it when a good song comes on. This is a reference to SOME hip hop song and I don't even know who said it first. But its repeated over and over again in hip hop culture, so when I sit in my studio for 6 hours a day, 6 days a week these are the subliminal messages that are fed to me when I have on the music I really want to listen to. 

2. 6 years after being in a committed and monogamous relationship I made the decision that I needed to find me again. Finding me means that I have to explore the uncharted waters of casual dating, which is probably the weirdest learning experience of my life so far. My heart has been shit on a few times, and it's been cuuuhhh-razy hard to try to not apply past hurts to present relationships. So instead of over-thinking everything I make passive-aggressive art work thats mediocre at best. Here goes back to that thought from one of my former posts, "Sometimes I get the impression that I don't finish the things I have the most trouble facing"

$30 plus $5 S&H

"Women"

This was the first piece of paper art I created and made myself finish. It's really interesting to be mindful of what I want to produce and how it seems to correlate with where I am in my life. I think most people struggle with anxiety and sometimes I really surprise myself with the dramas I choose to hold onto. 

$40 plus $5 S&H